Date Everything!

The Steam CD key is a 15-character alphanumeric code that replaces the need for a physical disc. Use it to unlock, activate, and play Date Everything! Instantly on a Windows PC. Enjoy using our service for Valid CD Keys.

In a gaming world overflowing with battle royales, gritty shooters, and open-world adventures, sometimes what we really crave is something completely unhinged, absurdly funny, and deeply, unapologetically weird. That’s where Date Everything! comes in — a surreal dating sim that throws logic out the window and lets players romance the entire universe… literally.

Date Everything! isn’t your average visual novel. It’s an unpredictable, genre-bending experience where you don’t just date people — you date objects, concepts, celestial bodies, and ideas. Want to go out with Time itself? How about a slice of pizza? Maybe Gravity’s been giving you the eyes lately? In Date Everything!, if you can imagine it, you can flirt with it.

Let’s dive into what makes this one of the most original and laugh-out-loud hilarious games in recent memory.

🌌 What Is Date Everything!?

Developed by a small indie team with a big sense of humor, Date Everything! is a comedic, narrative-driven dating simulator where your goal isn’t just to find love — it’s to explore the limits of reality, all while going on the most absurd dates possible.

The game plays like a mix of traditional dating sims, choose-your-own-adventure stories, and surreal sketch comedy. But instead of picking between anime archetypes or fantasy characters, your dating pool includes:

• Existential Dread

• A Traffic Light

• The Concept of Tuesday

• The Moon

• Capitalism

• Your Past Mistakes

Yes, it’s that kind of game. And it’s glorious.

😂 A Satire of Dating Sims (and Everything Else)

Date Everything! is more than just a comedy game — it’s a sharp, self-aware satire of the dating sim genre and modern life itself. With razor-sharp writing, the game constantly pokes fun at video game tropes, relationship clichés, and even your own decision-making.

Dialogue is packed with wit, meta-commentary, and absurd jokes. One minute, you’re wooing Anxiety with heartfelt affirmations, the next you’re trying to impress the Color Blue with a heartfelt haiku. Every character (or object, or phenomenon) has a unique personality and story arc, many of which are both hilarious and unexpectedly emotional.

You’ll find yourself laughing at the ridiculousness — but also pausing to reflect on how strangely relatable it all is.

🧠 How Does the Gameplay Work?

At its core, Date Everything! is a choice-based narrative game. You’ll read through conversations, make dialogue decisions, and try to charm your chosen target by saying the right things, giving gifts, and making life-altering decisions about the nature of the universe.

But the game isn’t limited to typical dating mechanics. It also features:

• Branching storylines that get weirder the deeper you go

• Mini-games like “Flirt or Die,” where you survive awkward silences

• Personality quizzes that determine your compatibility with abstract concepts

• A Chaos Meter, which increases the more reality-bending your choices become

Each route is wildly different, and unlocking multiple endings is part of the fun — especially if you’re trying to 100% the game and unlock secret relationships, like “The Loading Screen” or “The Concept of Game Design.”

❤️ Characters You’ll (Somehow) Fall For

Let’s be clear: Date Everything! doesn’t hold back when it comes to its cast. Here are just a few of the “datables” you’ll encounter:

• Gravity – An aloof but clingy force who just can’t let go.

• Your To-Do List – Overwhelming, pushy, but wants what’s best for you.

• The Year 1999 – Stuck in the past, but still charming with Y2K anxiety.

• Silence – A mysterious presence who says nothing, but feels everything.

• The Color Red – Passionate, chaotic, and possibly a pyromaniac.

Each character is written with a distinct voice, clever wordplay, and oddly insightful personality traits. Some arcs are pure chaos; others dive into themes of self-worth, fear, nostalgia, or personal growth. It’s like dating philosophy itself — if philosophy had a Twitter account and a coffee addiction.

🎨 Visuals and Style

A big part of what makes Date Everything! work is its visual identity. The art style is deliberately mixed — some characters are highly stylized and animated, others are crudely drawn or represented by surreal imagery. It leans into absurdity with flair, blending cartoon visuals, psychedelic backgrounds, and UI elements that sometimes talk to you.

The aesthetic shifts depending on who (or what) you’re dating. For example:

• Dates with “Entropy” feature melting visuals and collapsing menus

• “The Internet” bombards you with pop-ups and meme graphics

• “The Vacuum of Space” is literally a blank screen with haunting music

It’s chaotic. It’s confusing. It’s brilliant.

🔊 Music & Sound Design

The soundtrack deserves a shoutout too. From jazzy lounge music during your date with Wine Night, to abstract electronic noise during your encounter with Existential Dread, Date Everything! uses sound to enhance immersion in ways you’d never expect from a comedy game.

Voice acting is minimal — most of the narrative is text-based — but the occasional audio cue, laughter, sigh, or existential scream is timed to perfection.

📅 Release and Platform Info

As of now, Date Everything! is available on:

• PC (Steam & Itch.io)

• Nintendo Switch (great for chaotic love on the go)

• Coming soon to Xbox and PlayStation platforms

It’s been praised in indie circles and gained traction with streamers who enjoy the unpredictable nature of the game. Community mods and custom datables are also being developed, extending the replayability even further.

🌟 Final Thoughts: A Love Letter to Absurdity

Date Everything! is more than just a game — it’s an experience. It’s a hilarious, bizarre, and surprisingly deep exploration of romance, identity, and how ridiculous life can be. Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the writing, or just to say you once tried to kiss “Quantum Uncertainty,” this game delivers something truly unique.

In a world full of games that take themselves too seriously, Date Everything! reminds us that it’s okay to laugh, be weird, and date your inbox if that’s what it takes to feel something.

So go ahead. Ask out Time. Flirt with Rain. Whisper sweet nothings to your Laundry Pile.

Because in Date Everything! — everything deserves a chance at love.